Bats
My stories die today
No longer can I blame
Another for the sorrow that is
Clotted up
And caked in caves concealed from light
I have crawled down deep inside
Unwittingly at first
For at first the path had been clear and
I had smelled
The mighty Ocean’s calm breath
And tasted her promises as truth
How easily and gaily did I dance toward that Ocean then!
I danced for many days and nights
Through many seasons, planting and harvesting steadily
Cold winters came and threatened to freeze
My memory, but I would not forget her waters
And then it was time
I left all the things I could carry behind
And set off alone into the darkness
I traveled by night for protection
From the ones who wouldn’t understand
And for a while
I felt joyful
When creatures big or small came to me asking for favors
I gave them whatever bread I had and lived off of my laughter
I’m not sure when the hunger began
I only know that it surprised
And confused me
I sat down then to think
The trees that once comforted me hissed at me I felt
Startled
I looked around and
Couldn’t find the path I almost
Wished for the things I had left behind for the
Timely winters, and the dry, dry land
And then I heard the voice of what I already knew
And had forgotten
I looked up to see the Ocean
I looked up to see the Ocean
Rising fast against the sky
A shriek
So shrill from within me came, and I wished to run
But found my body frozen, my will numb
I looked down to find my feet
And found them bound and painful
Buried beneath the mud of my ancestors
I looked up
To find my hands raised in fists
So tightly clenched I could no longer use them!
What stories did pass through my mind then
Words of every color shape and size
Flying as bats fly from a cave only to hit against a glass
And fall back inside again
They echoed like that for some time
And I was afraid it would never stop
The water swelled up, high and mighty
The sounds of the forest were absorbed into it as it rose
Neither the sun nor moon could shine through it and
All the forest was cast in its shadow
As it fell
I pushed beneath it and pressed my belly to the sand
Hush said the water
Hush said the sand
And it was silent at the bottom of the Ocean
I live at the bottom of the Ocean
This sand is the fertile soil of my mind
Where senseless seeds were sown and have grown
Into stubborn weeds, weeds turned into bats taking flight
I have tried to swat them and they have returned enraged
And so, surrendering I say
Bring before me
All flying things
All black and vile things
And let them loose into this night
Though they echo in the caverns of my mind
They are not me
They are not mine